We all face conflict. It can be external and internal. In the midst of conflict we are quick to assign blame and intention. Our own intention impacts how we face conflict.
According to Karen Valenic, an expert in conflict resolution, three kinds of intention impact our ability to handle conflict.
- Long Term What is your long range goal or desired outcome?
- Immediate What is your goal right now?
- Personal/Spiritual How do you want to be during the conflict?
We often neglect this one as we are so focused on the doing or results. However, who we are while we face conflict can be more powerful than what we do.
- Assume Positive Intent on the Other Side I have added this one as it can make a big difference in the tone of the dynamic. Where you start will significantly impact the outcome. It will lead to better results.
When we have clarity on intention and focus on how we be, we can create creative conflict versus destructive conflict.
There is a place for creative conflict in our relationships and teams. It creates openness, voices being heard and, often, better outcomes.
The next time you find yourself in conflict, focus on these four intentions. See if they make a difference.